Thursday, March 09, 2006

New Living Will Form - Quick and Easy

Sent to me by my attorney, Carlos the Perplexed; modified by yours truly – see how quick and easy this is!

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills (or my children, who may be seeking vindication!).

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following …
______a pint of Guinness
______a Bloody Mary
______a pint of Guinness
______a Martini
______a Cosmopolitan
______a plate of Trisquits and Pick-a-Peppa sauce
______a handful of raw almonds
______dark chocolate
______Sex

… it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________