Friday, April 29, 2005

Drafty?



Annually, The Queen of England has her picture taken with her personal guards. It usually gets published in newspapers in England. I rather think that this one was picked up by many papers and/or magazines and we may see it around everywhere.
 
Somehow, I think that her right-Hand man is not going to have his job much longer! Or he will be honored by all who wish they had taken the same pose.

Tip 'o the hat to: Desdemona

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Pirates don't wait for release dates!



Mac OS X Tiger is the teats!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies and a Secret Revealed

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink; or you can just piss while in the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them; and, if we weren't crazy we'd all be insane.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

The secret to life is to live it; the secret of love is to give it. Giving to others, a world full of lovers.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Kitty, you may want to rethink that next move


Bradzilla sent me this and I could not resist posting it. With all the cat blogging that goes on in the universe of my favorite blogs, it seems very appropriate.

Way to go, Tyrone!

At the reception for Jay and Meghann: codename Jayghann, my youngest son: codename Tyrone, gave the traditional toast to the bride and groom. He spent a lot of time and thought on what he would say, and he made me very proud of him. He mixed his sense of humor with facts, and spoke from his heart. He is quite good at making speeches; timing is everything and he nailed every point he made. Speechwriting is not always easy, but his presentation made it look and sound like he had spent weeks in preparation.

So I raise my glass to toast him. I have to hand it to him, he did a fantastic job and Jay and Meghann were beaming from the warmth of his speech.

Way to go, son!

Parental Milestone


Mr. and Mrs. Jay Bennett

There is something special about reaching the milestones of life. One of the best is when your children wed.

My oldest son, Jay got married Saturday evening, to Meghann. They were meant for each other. The wedding was at the Dallas Arboretum, one of the most beautiful places in Texas as it is situated on White Rock Lake. The wedding took place at 7:00 p.m., and a cool front had pushed through early Saturday morning, so the evening was perfect. The lighting was incredible - you know, that magic light that occurs at dusk with clear skies and a gentle breeze. It was fabulous.

The bride's family converged from California and Washington, D.C. area, from all over, it seems. Very nice folks, that I am proud to be associated with.

My family came up from Houston/Galveston and we partied all weekend.

Now, Mrs. SWF, who put out a fantastic spread for two days running, can finally get some rest.

It was very nice to be the father of the groom. Jay looked great as did all the groomsmen. Bradzilla and O'Perez did the video shoot, and my good friend TB from Houston, did the photography. I didn't have to take one photo! That was the best part, I could actually enjoy the ceremony and reception.

Mr. and Mrs. Jay Bennett are now in Banff, enjoying the snowboarding and each other. God bless and keep them!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I ain't Fonda Hanoi Jane, part deux

You know how I feel, I ain't Fonda Hanoi Jane and now the latest flap-du-jour in her Life, So Far … I even thought about greeting her when she did her book-signing in Dallas last week, but blew it off. Seems I even said, above the book cover, "Here is a look at the cover on which you may spit." Little did I know that one Mr. Michael A. Smith would take that suggestion literally!


So with a tip o' the hat to Tim Leary, here's to the man!

SEND THIS MAN SOME PIE


In a photo released by the Kansas City, Mo. Police, Michael A. Smith, is shown. Smith, 54, of Kansas City, was arrested on a municipal charge of disorderly conduct Tuesday night after off-duty officers caught him just outside Unity Temple, where actress Jane Fonda was signing books. According to police, Smith spit tobacco juice into the face of Fonda after waiting in line to have her sign her new book. (AP Photo/Kansas City (Mo.) Police via The Kansas City Star)

Missouri Man Spits on Jane Fonda

TIM CURRAN, Associated Press Writer
(04-20) 12:26 PDT Kansas City, Mo. (AP) --

A man spit tobacco juice into the face of actress Jane Fonda after waiting in line to have her sign her new book, police said.

The man ran off but was quickly caught by police Tuesday night and charged with disorderly conduct.

Fonda has been on tour and doing interviews to promote her just-published memoir, "My Life So Far." The thrice-married, two-time Academy Award winner covers a wide array of topics, including her 1972 visit to Hanoi to protest the Vietnam War, during which she was photographed on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun. She has apologized for that photo, but not for opposing the war.

Capt. Rich Lockhart of the Kansas City Police Department said that although Fonda did not want to press charges against Michael A. Smith, 54, of Kansas City, he was arrested on a municipal charge of disorderly conduct after off-duty officers caught him just outside Unity Temple, where Fonda was signing books.

Lockhart said Smith was released on bond late Tuesday night and is due to appear in municipal court on May 27.

Smith, a Vietnam veteran, told The Kansas City Star on Wednesday that Fonda was a "traitor" and that her protests against the war were unforgivable. He said he normally does not chew tobacco but did so Tuesday solely to spit juice on the actress.

"I consider it a debt of honor," he told The Star for a story on its Web site, www.kansascity.com. "She spit in our faces for 37 years. It was absolutely worth it. There are a lot of veterans who would love to do what I did."

Fonda drew a crowd of about 900 for her appearance, said Vivian Jennings, whose Rainy Day Books of suburban Fairway, Kan., sponsored the event at Unity Temple in Kansas City. Fonda, 67, spoke for about 15 minutes, answered questions for another 15, then began signing copies of her book.

Jennings said Fonda received a standing ovation when she came out and when she finished speaking. Alan Tilson, one of those who had his book signed but left before the incident, said the crowd was very "warm and supportive" to Fonda and he was surprised to learn what had happened.

Jennings said the actress never got up from her seat and continued autographing books after the tobacco juice was wiped off.

"The important thing is that she was so calm and so gracious about it," Jennings said of Fonda. "She was wonderful."

Jennings said that the man had a book to which the name "Jody" had been affixed as he approached to have it autographed. She said that when Fonda got the book, she looked up and said, "You're not Jody."

"At that moment, he turned his head quickly and spit a trail of tobacco juice," Jennings said. "He immediately jumped off the stage and started running down the aisle."

Fonda, who flew to Minneapolis Wednesday for another appearance on the book tour she began April 5, issued a statement through Jynne Martin of Random House, which published her book.

"In spite of the incident, my experience in Kansas City was wonderful and I thank all the warm and supportive people, including so many veterans, who came to welcome me last night," Fonda said.


Timmah!

The Malachy Prophecies - whaaa?

This totally creeps me out.

I found this yesterday, after Pope Benedict XVI was selected by the College of Cardinals. On a lark, and only minutes after his selection, I Googled Pope Benedict XVI to see how many hits Google would come up with. I never knew about this writing. What creeped me out is that the following excerpt was written shortly after the death of Pope John Paul II and before the selection process began. Could the END be near? This particular excerpt piqued my interest in finding out more about …

The Malachy Prophecies

It is interesting to note that 1978 was the year of the three Popes: the death of Paul VI, the election and death of John Paul I, and then the election of John Paul II. Now with the death of John Paul II, the Roman Catholic Church and the world are anticipating what will come next.

The most famous and best-known prophecies about the popes are those attributed to Malachy. In 1139 he went to Rome to give an account of the affairs of his diocese to Pope Innocent II, who promised him two palliums for the metropolitan Sees of Armagh and Cashel. While at Rome, he supposedly received a strange vision of the future wherein was unfolded before him the long list of illustrious pontiffs who were to rule the Roman Catholic Church until the end of time. History tells us that Malachy gave his manuscript to Innocent II to console him in the midst of his tribulations, and that the document remained unnoticed in the Roman Archives until its discovery in 1590. The manuscript was first published by Arnold de Wyon. Since their publication, there has been much discussion as to whether they are genuine predictions of Malachy or later culminations by the Jesuits.

These short prophetical announcements (112 of them) indicate some noticeable trait of all future popes from Celestine II, who was elected in the year 1130, until the end of the world. They are enunciated under mystical titles. Those who have undertaken to interpret and explain these symbolical prophecies have succeeded in discovering some trait, allusion, point, or similitude in their application to the individual popes, such as to their country, their name, their coat of arms or insignia, their birthplace, their talent or learning, the title of their cardinalate, or the dignities which they held.

John Paul II was the 266th pope and the 110th pope mentioned by Malachy since his list commenced. Malachy called John Paul II "De labore Solis," or "of the eclipse of the sun," or "from the labour of the sun." Karol Wojtyla, his baptismal name, was born on May 18, 1920, during the solar eclipse. Being born in Poland, he came from behind the former Iron Curtain. Because of his obsessive devotion to the Virgin Mary, this Pope was viewed by certain Catholic historians to be the fruit of the intercession of the Woman clothed with the sun and in labor (Revelation 12).

It is the hope of Romanist leaders that the next pope will not reign as long, perhaps being an older pope. According to Malachy, the 267th pope is called "Gloria Olivae," or "glory of the olive." Traditionally, the olive branch has been associated with peace, but in both the Old and New Testaments, it also serves as an emblem for the Jews. Putting the two together, some commentators believe that the reign of this pope will be dedicated to peace. However, some believe that Malachy's description may instead refer to St. Benedict's sixth-century prophecy that a member of his order will lead the Church in its fight against evil just before the Apocalypse. The Benedictine Order is known by another name, Olivetans. Those mystic observers in Rome believe if this is true, the next pope will go by the name of Pope Benedict XVI, in imitation of Saint Benedict and Pope Benedict XV. Benedict XV was a pope obsessed with peace: he sought peace and spoke of peace and wrote documents seeking peace.

Yet there is much division today within the Romanist Church between traditionalists, modernists, and Marxists. There is also another "Saint" Benedict, a well-known one called Benedict the Black (il moro santo, the holy Moor). Some believe he may be a black man like Benedict the Moor. As to the term olive there has been speculation that the next pope will come from an olive-growing country: Spain, Italy, South America, or even France.

A little more information is given concerning the last pope that Malachy mentions:

In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations, after which the seven hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful judge will judge the people. The End.

Malachy places this pope as the last one and the end of the church. According to Roman speculations within the Vatican, either the 267th or 268th pope has been viewed as the defecting pope: defecting from the church and its doctrines, an antichrist pope. These are merely the speculations by Malachy and those in the Romanist church who follow his predictions.


Now you would think that something written back in 1139, and rediscovered in 1590 would be a little better known. It's getting curiouser and curiouser.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The Damned of the West (part 1): Interview With Susan Hallums

Dr. Rusty Shackleford does it again.



"I have posted the first part of an interview with the wife of Roy Hallums, an American civilian contrator held in Iraq since Nov. 1st of last year. The Hallums family has asked that we not forget the plight of Roy and other civilian hostages in Iraq."


THIS IS A WORTHY READ, my fellow bloggers and readers. Get the full interview here.

Bumper snicker

I saw this bumper sticker on a car in the French Quarter over the weekend.

It cracked me up so I wanted to share it with you. The crew then did a covert-op to the oval office and snapped this confirming photograph. Thank God Frodo has failed!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Headed to N'awlins!

Mrs. SWF and I are celebrating your 35th anniversary, so we're setting a course for N'awlins. Be back Sunday. I promise photos!

Yar!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I cannot imagine infinity … but this helps.



Florida State University, in Tallahassee, Florida has put up an interesting page. It begins as a view of the Milky Way Galaxy viewed from a distance of 10 million light years and then zooms in toward Earth in powers of ten. From 10 million, to one million, to 100,000 light years and then it finally reaches a large oak tree.

Once you click on the site, the software does all the work. Sit back and imagine how perfect our universe is. Click on AUTO at the end and review the process in reverse. This gives one even more understanding and appreciation of the immensity and the wonder of God and His universe.

Now, don't you feel important! Tip o' the hat to EllDee!

Monday, April 11, 2005

No Whar But Texas!

God bless Lady Bird Johnson. Her legacy is shown below, the bluebonnets are beautiful this year.

Canada Surrenders - No Shots Fired

This, from CBC News offers this tidbit. April 7, 2005: Justice John Gomery lifts the publication ban on much of Jean Brault's testimony. He tells the inquiry that he was repeatedly asked to give cash donations to the Liberal party and put election workers on his payroll in exchange for federal sponsorship contracts.

'T would seem that word of our pending mission to liberate Canada leaked out, and that was sufficient to quell the heathen Canadian Justice John Gomery's planned secrecy surrounding the scandal.

Alas, the crew was and remains ready, we shall therefore set sail for Key West primarily for provisions to make Margaritas and Cheeseburgers. Yar, to me crew, and thank ye verily! Our first stop will be N'awlins! Where my Mrs. Stomps With Foot and I shall celebrate our 35th anniversary for three daze!

Now, liberty call, liberty call …

And a repeat of our 21-gun salute to Captain Ed.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Embedded correspondent and cabin boy join fray

We are honored to have Denita Two Dragons onboard as our embedded correspendent. Her palette will allow her to record the battle scenes and the victory celebrations for posterity! Her goddess-like wings will allow her to soar, undetected by the enemy, above the fray. And Zane the Brave will be boppin' em on the head with his teddy-bear!

I can't bear it! The horror, the horror!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Good boy, sit, stay …

BigDog:SOG (Special Operations Group) (also hailing from one of the Empire's outlying counties) is aboard! He is mans best friend locked, cocked and ready to rock. We will definitely be sending him with Alpha Squad for the recon mission.

King Brad (of the outlying counties) has arrived!

We are honored to have King Brad (from one of the Empire's outlying counties) aboard! He is a mediocre at best mean musician - no really! He really is a musician, and probably can accompany Crime Dog on any Jimmy Buffett song! Although his lineage is questionable, he is a fine addition for our upcoming odyssey. Welcome, King Brad, who also brought along a supply of Pickapeppa Sauce, Trisquits and Cosmopolitans!

Tau the Terrible joins the crew!

Tau the Terrible has joined us. He is a known feared sailor who runs a very puny PC from the Dark Side as he is a royal Viking who knows some shortcuts to Canuck land. He wields the mighty hammer of Thor as well as the double-edged hatchet-thingie!



Thank ye g-ds!

Make way for the Parrothead! Make Way!

Crime Dog has been shanghaied drafted for the the cruise to northern latitudes. He knows all about Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes, and he knows every phookin' song by heart! So sing loud me hearties and welcome this Arizona Parrothead to the crew.



I've lost my salt shaker! Hey, Crime Dog, seen my salt shaker?

Mad Monk has reported for duty!

Our latest addition, Mad Monk, will be manning the galley. He was last heard saying, "Time to give those Canucks what for, eh? DEATH BY HABANERO!"

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Lest we forget


This, from Captain Ed and this from This, from Michelle Malkin's blog is why we are on this mission and why it's important that we provide naval support, lest we forget!

Bavarian Forces Join Privateer's For Liberation of Canada


Front: Heribert the Horrible from Bavaria - no really!

For the glory of the Empire

CREW UPDATE

UPDATE: Front row, left to right: Desdemona, LCBeth. Back row, left to right: El Capitan, ZiPpo

El Capitan (pictured on the left), who has graciously been coerced accepted command the flagship, and I (pictured on the right), are making all preparations to set sail from the Port o' Galveston, after properly Shanghaiingrecruiting a few good sailors and wenches to crew and amuse her. All Loyal Citizens are herewith requested to join us on this treacherous mission.

Our course is set for Montreal, via Key West (where we will make port and take on provisions - Margaritas and Cheeseburgers in Paradise - then north from the Caribbean to the Atlantic Ocean. We will sail in stealth mode along the East Coast, to the St. Lawrence River where we shall mount our attack on the heathen Canadians. Before we begin the cruise go here. and save your best work on a white background. Send it to me via zippothepirate@mac.com so's we kin add ye to the crew for first muster.

The crew is anxious to get underway, after a night of drinkin' and whorin.' Before the sun reached the mizzenmast they were slowly approaching His Majesty's – Emperor Darth Misha I – latest triple secret weapons – the mighty fleet of ZiPpo. With much effort they struggled to balance themselves along the gangplank to request permission to come aboard.

We must sail with all due haste. So yer joinin' us is of great importance to the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Empire.

God Save Darth Misha I, Emperor of all the Universe (and outlying counties). We shall put to the sword all who oppose us. Please pass this on to all Loyal Citizens of the Empire.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Recon photo from Canada

This intel just in:


Fleet disembarking pirates with full complement of bean and broccoli soup. Quartermaster last heard saying, "Pull my finger."

21-gun salute to the Captain's Quarters

Captain! Request permission to come alongside ye, standby for a 21-gun salute!

Seems that Captain's Quarters has duly pissed off the cheating liberals up in Canuck land! Here it is, for your belly laugh of the day, and for your silent praises of the power of the blogosphere. In a word: FUKENEH!

Read what the Emperor has to say as well, he is much better at this than I am.

Maybe we should invade Canada; pre-emptive strikes are now in the U.S. Rules of Engagement aren't they? Well, it is immaterial at this point; the mighty fleet of Zippo The Pirate is now setting a stealth course for the St. Lawrence to claim land for the glory of the Empire and embarrassment of the Gomery Commission.

All Hail Captain Ed - All Hail His Rottiness Emperor Misha - Godspeed to the fleet, and if Captain Ed needs any help, he need look no further than his right flank, as me Corsairs be fully manned and our cannon ready to assist.

Hoist the Jolly Roger.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Aerial, overhead, raisin-box, with blue eyes!

My eldest offspring-unit, Codename: Mothership, sent me this photo she took of my granddaughter, Codename: Dunky. Check out the baby-blues, and of course, the accessorizing with the raisin box.



I am just gaga over Dunky (can ye tell?)! I am in desperate need of a "sniff" of her scrumptious neck!

The light and the magic

I am setting a course for Chicago on Saturday, and will be returning Sunday evening. Yet another lost weekend. If I added up all the lost weekends I have spent working this year it would be about 20. That's 40 days of "extra" work time, that is expected of me. The bulk of these lost weekends occurred during a three-month video shoot that I produced. On The Road Again, that Willie Nelson song just keeps on playing in my head. This trip is for a photo-shoot at Fox River Resort. I know, it's really a dirty job, but only I get to do it. I checked the Chicago-area weather forecast for the weekend - in a word: dreary. So I will take advantage of the rain and cloudy weather to find as many MONEY shots as I possibly can, under less-than-favorable conditions. I only have to shoot one "required" shot, the rest is going to be to gather resources for future projects.

Funny how I always approach these shoots. I arrive, after a few hours drive from an airport, and, if there is daylight, I shoot "insurance" shots. This is a proven methodology; one never knows what tomorrow will bring – it could be rain, clouds, wind or snow. Freezing, in time and space, a photograph that captures the moment glimpsed through a wash of light. I do it instinctively now, after more than 30 years of being a "shooter." I bought my first Nikon when deployed to the Far East back in 1970. Now, I use a Nikon D1 - with a 2GB flash card. But the magic of capturing the light still brings me a thrill and delight that cannot be verbalized. It's just magic.

I can easily understand the niaveté of the Native Americans when they believed their "soul" was captured by a photograph – and feared photography. In a way, they were right. What is not understood, technologically, is magic.

It's all about the light. And the magic of the capture.