God Speed Terri
She is in His hands now. We shall see what shall pass from this morass.
It's not the mileage, it's the wear-and-tear.
I have too much on my plate. Yeah, I know, you could care less if the peas are touching the mashed taters. I have so much cargo and booty to load and unload that I need some hands to help me with a full-tilt work party. There is an adage that I firmly believe, "You always have time for what you put first." The only problem is that there are about a dozen things that need to be handled immediately. Are ye gettin' the picture here?
Ah, the flap du jour rises dead-ahead!
We, the Emperor Darth Misha I, Lord of all the Universe (and outlying counties), Wielder of the Cluebat of Doom™, Terror of the Idiotarians and Defender of the Holy Clue™ do hereby command ye, ZiPpo the Pirate, as follows:
That ye will with these Instructions receive and accept this our commission or letter of marque which ye are to enjoyn with all expeditiousness and to publish and put the same in due execution, according to the full extent and import of the same and that, for the accomplishing whereof, ye shall have all the assistance the Empire can reasonably give ye.
That ye are to make known to us what strength ye can possibly make, what yer wants may be in order to achieve a favorable outcome so that on due calculation of both we may supply ye with all possible speed.
That ye are to take notice and advise yer Fleet and Souldiers that ye are on the old pleasing Account of, no purchase no pay, and therefore that all which is got shall be divided amongst them according to accustomed and honorable Rules.
That in case ye shall find it prudential as by yer Commission ye are directed, to attain high ground against all enemies of the Rottweiler Empire and God blessing ye with victory and Glory for the Empire, ye are hereby directed, in case ye do it without any considerable hazards, to keep and make good the place and country thereabout, until ye have advised me of yer success and received my further Orders touching the same, lest yer suddenly quitting and leaving the Enemy capable of suddenly returning, beget us new work, and put on new charges and hazards for the second defeating.
That, in order to do this ye are to proclaim mercy and enjoyment of states and liberty of customs to all that will submit and give assurance of their Loyalty to the Emperor Darth Misha I, and Liberty to all Slaves that will come in; and to such as by any good service may deserve the same; ye are to give notice that their fugitive Moonbat Plantations are to be divided amongst them as rewards for the same & make them sufficient Grants in writing, both for their Liberties and for their Estates, reserving to the Empire of Darth Misha I the fourth part of the produce to be yearly paid for the yearly maintenance of such Forces as shall be required to defend those parts that they may forever enjoy the safety and blessings of the Empire's benevolent rule.
That, in case ye find that course to take approvable, ye are as much as will stand with the same, to preserve the Imperial infrastructure; but if it otherwise appear to ye, that in reason ye cannot make good the place for any long time, and that the Moonbats and Slaves are deaf to yer proposals, ye are then, to treat it as a Wilderness and return it to that state, putting the Men-slaves to the Sword and making the Women-Slaves Prisoners to be brought hither, and sold for the account of yer Fleet. Such of the men that cannot speak the language of the Anti-Idiotarian Empire, or any new Moonbat, ye may preserve to be done with as you please, according to the needs of your Fleet and any individuals that may have done you good service during the confrontation you may set free at your first port of call after your departure or give unto them the offer of joining your ranks for the Greater Glory of the Empire. If any Ships are present, you are authorized to carry them as prizes for the Empire, and, upon their arrival in an Imperial port, they shall be appraised and you and your men shall be issued your prize money according to the fair and just practice of the Empire.
That, upon thy departure from an enemy settlement that is not suitable for occupation, nor of any further value to the Empire, ye leave no living being behind and make sure that any structures are razed to the ground, those structures not lending themselves easily to razing to be set on fire, to serve as an example to Enemies of the Empire.
That ye are to enquire what usage our Prisoners in Enemy hands have had, and what Quarter hath been given by the Enemy to such of ours as have fallen under their power, and being well informed, ye are to return the same, or rather as our custom is to return kindness with unparallelled generosity and unkindnesses with mercilessness, endeavouring by all means to make all sorts of People sensible of yer Moderation, fairness and devotion to the Imperial Doctrine of "treat us good, we'll treat you better. Treat us bad, we'll treat you worse", so that yer unwillingness and loathing to spill the blood of men may not be mistaken for weakness.
Ye have hereby power to impose Martial Law, according to such military Laws as have been made by me, and the Laws made by the Rottweilian Empire for the government of the Fleet, which I approve of as fitting for the Service; and hereby authorize ye to put them in execution against such as shall offend ye, having first published the Laws unto them, that none may pretend ignorance.
If any Ship or Ships shall be present, which have not any Commissions, have the fighting capabilities suitable for a Ship of Empire and has not engaged in hostilities against ye, ye are hereby empowered to Grant Commissions to them according to the form I have used, taking security of $10,000 for the performance of the same.
What Ships in this Expedition ye shall keep with ye under yer Command and then order and dispose for the best improvement of this Service, not suffering the takers or pretenders to sell them until they come into their Commission Port.
In regard as many things may happen in this Action which cannot be by us foreseen and provided for in these Instructions, therefore all such matters are left to yer well known prudence and conduct, referring to ye that are in the place to do therein what shall be deemed needful, thus wishing yer success and this Empire made prosperous and more glorious thereby.
We remain, yer Emperor
Darth Misha I, Emperor of all the Universe (and outlying counties), Wielder of &c &c...
Dear Fellow Texan,
Let Terri Schiavo live … Let Terri Schiavo die.
What is it that the Judicial Branch of our government does not understand about the Terri Schiavo case. It's right there, under their collective snot-noses, penned by Thomas Jefferson and a linchpin of the Constitution:
So you want to be a Texan! Well, get out the skinnin' knife and a big pot, you're going to need them both. All Texans are born with a recipe for chili imprinted in their DNA.
Jawa hits the nail on the head, AGAIN. Please read his post, he once again proves the power of satire.
El Capitan arrived Friday afternoon for our weekend excursion to the long-awaited and much anticipated Texas Blogfest. It was, of course, even better than I anticipated. Cap and I walked into Humperdink's and my eyes met Mamamontezz's. Instant recognition! Clasping hand shakes, giving hugs and generally sharing in the festivities, I can say that Lord Spatula and LCBeth put together a fantastic shindig in Dallas.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone.
Map of the ANWR 1002 area. Dashed line labeled Marsh Creek anticline marks approximate boundary between undeformed area (where rocks are generally horizontal) and deformed area (where rocks are folded and faulted). Boundary is defined by Marsh Creek anticline along western half of dashed line and by other geologic elements along eastern half of dashed line. Exploration wells are coded to show whether information from them was available for the 1987 USGS assessment of in-place petroleum resources. Dashed red line shows the offshore extent of the entire assessment area. Map from USGS Fact Sheet 0028-01. http://pubs.usgs.gov/fs/fs-0028-01/fs-0028-01.pdf
Blow me down! My previous post about my pirate ancestry has yielded a most unexpected treasure. This comment, from my long lost who knows what kind of first, second or third cousin; once, twice or thrice removed. I am hopeful that she will send me an email, (see my Profile, Jennifer).
Well, I stumbled on your postings.
I, too, am a descendent of Arsene LeBleu. He was my great-great-great grandfather. I descend through his son's daughter's son's son. That would be Arsene Carmarsac LeBleu's son: Arsene LeBleu's daughter: Catherine M. LeBleu's son: William LeBleu Oakes'son: Shelby T. Oakes, who is my father.
It is nice to read your postings. I was never told about Arsene LeBleu growing up. I knew that my dad was cousins to the LeBleu's in Vernon Parish and that my grandfather carried the name. I remember hearing that if we looked very far into our ancestry, that we might find out that we had pirates in our background. I was really excited to see the photographs. Do you have more information or photos? I grew up in DeRidder but have resided in Shreveport for the last 30-years. I recently visited the geneology library in Lake Charles. It did nothing more than whet my appetite to hear and know more.
" … you are headed into very, very treacherous waters!"
Sermon in Dallas!
Sometimes the simple beauty of this world, combined with the words of great poets, long since departed, stirs our soul.
I went to Gizoogle to see what it would do to my last post. Compare the two, discuss amongst yourselves, while I work on a Piratezoogle website. Seems like that would be even more edifying!
From: The Dog
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle?"
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage man is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello."
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question …
Dear God: When I get to heaven may I have my testicles back?
The headline on Yahoo this morning reads:
Ga. Courthouse Reopens Amid Tight Security
There is really some bad stuff going on with this machine. It needs attention NOW.
Mrs. Stomps With Foot spent the weekend trying to uproot a couple of bushes that we whacked back to the ground last summer. All that was left of these towering (8-feet) bushes were the stumps and the fingers that rose about two-feet above the ground. She got out the shovel and started digging around the stumps, gleefully piling up the rich soil on the driveway. Cutting off what she could with the pruners. She is dead-set on planting a garden of annuals in the place of these onery stumps.
"A coalition of conservative and liberal bloggers has formed to help preserve and protect online free speech against overzealous FEC regulation.
Daughter unit: new codename: Mother Ship, sent me some photos of little Miss Bennett Renée! Wow! Mother Ship has a great eye - she undoubtedly gets it from me, but I just had to share a couple of them with you, along with editorial comments, as usual.
This is Jane Fonda. During my two week visit in the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, I've had the opportunity to visit a great many places and speak to a large number of people from all walks of life - workers, peasants, students, artists and dancers, historians, journalists, film actresses, soldiers, militia girls, members of the women's union, writers.
I visited the (Dam Xuac) agricultural coop, where the silk worms are also raised and thread is made. I visited a textile factory, a kindergarten in Hanoi. The beautiful Temple of Literature was where I saw traditional dances and heard songs of resistance. I also saw unforgettable ballet about the guerrillas training bees in the south to attack enemy soldiers. The bees were danced by women, and they did their job well.
In the shadow of the Temple of Literature I saw Vietnamese actors and actresses perform the second act of Arthur Miller's play All My Sons, and this was very moving to me - the fact that artists here are translating and performing American plays while US imperialists are bombing their country.
I cherish the memory of the blushing militia girls on the roof of their factory, encouraging one of their sisters as she sang a song praising the blue sky of Vietnam - these women, who are so gentle and poetic, whose voices are so beautiful, but who, when American planes are bombing their city, become such good fighters.
I cherish the way a farmer evacuated from Hanoi, without hesitation, offered me, an American, their best individual bomb shelter while US bombs fell near by. The daughter and I, in fact, shared the shelter wrapped in each others arms, cheek against cheek. It was on the road back from Nam Dinh, where I had witnessed the systematic destruction of civilian targets- schools, hospitals, pagodas, the factories, houses, and the dike system.
As I left the United States two weeks ago, Nixon was again telling the American people that he was winding down the war, but in the rubble-strewn streets of Nam Dinh, his words echoed with sinister (words indistinct) of a true killer. And like the young Vietnamese woman I held in my arms clinging to me tightly - and I pressed my cheek against hers- I thought, this is a war against Vietnam perhaps, but the tragedy is America's.
One thing that I have learned beyond a shadow of a doubt since I've been in this country is that Nixon will never be able to break the spirit of these people; he'll never be able to turn Vietnam, north and south, into a neo-colony of the United States by bombing, by invading, by attacking in any way. One has only to go into the countryside and listen to the peasants describe the lives they led before the revolution to understand why every bomb that is dropped only strengthens their determination to resist. I've spoken to many peasants who talked about the days when their parents had to sell themselves to landlords as virtually slaves, when there were very few schools and much illiteracy, inadequate medical care, when they were not masters of their own lives.
But now, despite the bombs, despite the crimes being created- being committed against them by Richard Nixon, these people own their own land, build their own schools - the children learning, literacy - illiteracy is being wiped out, there is no more prostitution as there was during the time when this was a French colony. In other words, the people have taken power into their own hands, and they are controlling their own lives.
And after 4,000 years of struggling against nature and foreign invaders - and the last 25 years, prior to the revolution, of struggling against French colonialism - I don't think that the people of Vietnam are about to compromise in any way, shape or form about the freedom and independence of their country, and I think Richard Nixon would do well to read Vietnamese history, particularly their poetry, and particularly the poetry written by Ho Chi Minh.
El Capitan has a wonderful post today. Here is a synopsis about this particular Blog-meme that asks you to list five items that you might purchase for yourself, if price was no object.