Friday, September 30, 2005

She is sooooo good at finding stuff!

Stomps With Foot just read my entry for today where I mentioned the mystery diner in San Francisco. She found the diner, Max's and a copy of Max's Laws (sm) and so I want to share them with you. If you are ever in The City, go there, you will not be disappointed. Max's Laws (sm) are seen on the back of their menu. Click the logo above to be redirected to their website.

Max's Laws (sm)

1. This restaurant is run for the enjoyment and pleasure of our customers, not the convenience of the staff or the owners.

2. You get a free round of drinks if anyone on our staff comes up and says, "Is everything all right?" When we ask questions, they'll be good ones.

3. You must get your mustard and ketchup before your burger, sandwich or fries.

4. We hate soggy fries. If yours aren't crisp, the way you like them-send them back-maybe the kitchen will get the message.

5. Corned beef and pastrami are good because they contain some fat; however, with today's dietary consciousness, our corned beef and pastrami are now extra lean. So ask for a little fat for that traditional taste. If you want something with no fat, how about our turkey or turkey pastrami.

6. The turkey is always fresh. Period.

7. Our iced tea is table brewed. Just pour it over a big glass of ice.

8. You'll love our breads and pastries. They're made fresh daily in Max's Bakery and Kitchen.

9. Warning: We bake our own sourdough crusty as can be. If you like soft bread, eat the middle.

10. Our ice cream sauces are a point of pride. They're made in New York by a certified chocoholic who refuses therapy. They are simply the best in the country. And we don't boast idly.

11. We bring ice cream sauces from New York City and mustards from Oregon. Eat here. Save the airfare.

12. This is a bad place for a diet and a good place for a diet.

13. Our desserts are excessive because nothing succeeds like excess. We encourage sharing if you're not super hungry.

14. Substitutions are okay by us; don't be bashful, you've got a mouth, use it.

15. We use cholesterol-free oil for frying and sauteing; anything can be grilled fat-free!

16. If you are a single diner and are greeted with the expression, "Just one?" dinner is on us.

17. We agree that the customer is always right. If there is a problem with your food or service, call for the manager-we'll fix it in a flash. But, if you finish your plate-it couldn't have been all that bad! Now, could it?

18. If, upon presentation of your check, your server says, "Do you want change?" Forget about the tip!

Now I can't wait to get there! My mouth is watering and my piehole has turned into a face-engulfing smile.