Monday, September 26, 2005

Bathroom humor

With so much tension, stress, and sadness in the world over the past few weeks, we all need a good, rejuvenating belly laugh. When my brother and his family were in town escaping the wrath non-event of Hurricane Rita and having survived the 47-hour drive from Seabrook, I was in a silly mood and this came to me from out of nowhere!

Thought I would share it with everyone.

Ways to Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate

THIS REQUIRES PRIOR PLANNING:
1. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds, like you are going to blow out an "O-ring" and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from about 3-feet up, and sigh loudly after it hits the water. Then spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under your neighboring stallmates wall. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor's eyeballs and say, "Whoops. Could you kick that back over here, please? Before leaving say, "Damn, I knew the drain hole was a little too small, Now what am I gonna do?"

2. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

THIS REQUIRES PRIOR PLANNING:
3. Fill up a squirt bottle with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

4. Say, "Interesting, more sinkers than floaters."