Friday, August 26, 2005

The Jackbooted thugs of the NFL



The first down Dallas Cowboy fans will see this season is a pat down: a full-body search before entering Texas Stadium for the game. The NFL says they hope the extra measure will make fans feel safer. There were no specific incidents or threats that prompted the new policy for this season, only a desire to make sure people are safe, league officials said. If they are hoping that the searches groping will make fans feel more comfortable, they are out of touch with reality. People don't like their personal space violated; much less having some dyke grope their wives. I wonder if they went to the TSAs school for screening groping? In fact, I seriously doubt there is any training for the pat-downers gropers.

How about it, Paul Taglianazi, feel like instantly decreasing the attendance at NFL games? With your latest directive to all NFL teams to "pat-down" all the fans before they enter the stadium, you are doing just that. Can you think of nothing better than emulating TSAs inept attempts at security groping the females and males that enter your nationwide arenas? I wonder what a real patriot would, not to mention a real Patriot fan. This fan will avoid the pat-downs altogether by boycotting the games.

Oh, by the way, all fans will now have the privilege of being able to enter the stadiums from two- to three-hours before kickoff. What fun, especially during the 102-degree heat in Dallas when the seats have been soaking up heat all day. Field temperatures in excess of 120-degrees – I am sure the concessions will sell out of beer before they sell out of water. The radiant heat from a day in the Texas sun will be at least 95-degrees until the third quarter and that is for a night game. Maybe it will be better when the stadia are frozen solid and the fans get to freeze their asses off before/during/after kickoff … but I somehow doubt many will opt-in for that privilege.

Tickets for two: $120
Beer/water for two for up to six hours just to stay hydrated: $90
Hot dogs Sphincters, eyelids and lips - with mustard on a bun: $25
Boycotting the game to avoid the jackbooted groping-thugs at the gate: Priceless

No sir, Mr. Nazi-abue won't be seeing this football fan.