Thursday, March 31, 2005

The rudder is stuck to starboard

I have too much on my plate. Yeah, I know, you could care less if the peas are touching the mashed taters. I have so much cargo and booty to load and unload that I need some hands to help me with a full-tilt work party. There is an adage that I firmly believe, "You always have time for what you put first." The only problem is that there are about a dozen things that need to be handled immediately. Are ye gettin' the picture here?

My partner in crime, codename: Desdemona (whom, he said parenthetically, just had to remind me of what her codename is) has girded her loins for battle on a familiar frontier – how to inflict great pain help various dunderheads fellows with projects about which they have no clue been struggling. Lord knows we have been struggling with their struggles and it's high time they learned how complex easy it is to keep track of everything and ensure that nothing falls through the cracks and the ship is kept on an even keel. These noobs don't know a sextant from a signal flag.

The concensus is that they should be given every grief assistance we can provide; and I agree.

"Fetch me six-fathoms of waterline, ye noob, and make haste."