Friday, February 25, 2005

Life is good ... isn't it? I forget stuff.

Getting older is such a nuisance. Mrs. SWF and I have had plenty of opportunities to note the vagaries of aging. Not that we are old, or anything (blatant denial). We visit about this occasionally, and I thought it was time to blog it before I suffer from number three two on this list.

1. I think you should get wrinkles or zits. Not both. They should be mutually exclusive. Besides, its hard to pop the ripe ones when they are in the crease of a crow's foot.

2. I forget stuff. Important stuff, like where is the remote? Oh, shit, there it is, now I remember! I took it with me to the kitchen to get a beer, put it on the shelf, snagged the beer and shut the refrigerator. That was two days ago and I found 85¢ under the furniture cushions while looking for it. Other times, it's less obvious, "Why am I standing in front of my lawn mower?"

3. Everything in the refrigerator is behind the milk. "Honey, where's the jelly? It's not in here. Damn, did we run out of jelly?" "Did you move the milk?" "Yes - (saying this as I move the milk)... ohhhhh! There it is!

4. We are not our children and they are not us. They are completely different than we are. They grew up in a different time. Their mindsets are 180-degrees off from ours. F'r instance: I would never think of moving to a new city without having a job there before I moved. My kids think it's perfectly acceptable to move to a new city and then find a job. Funny, it seems to work that way too.

5. The older I get, the thinner my skin - actual epidermis - gets. I can be working in the yard and come in all scratched up. Seems to be an elasticity thing. Don't feel the pain of whatever made that two-inch scrape when it occurs, couldn't even tell you when it happened. Don't have a clue where that huge-ass bruise came from. Where was my leg when it happened? That must've hurt.

6. I call my son's by my brother's names and catch myself doing it – mid-sentence. "You know who you are! Why don't I?"

7. The older I get, the more land I want.

8. The older I get the more politically conservative I become.

9. Time goes by very quickly. I think that the warp speed-gene kicks in about age 50.

10. I can count my friends on less than 10 fingers and consider myself truly blessed to be able to do so.

11. Aching muscles, tendonitis, arthritis, whatever... pick up some Muggies, the Manly Huggies, next time you are at the drug store. What do you mean there aren't any more drug stores? Oh, that's right, they are now at the grocery stores.

See, I am forgetting stuff already. Where are my pants?