Wednesday, February 02, 2005

If we weren't all crazy we would just go insane …

I always try to make the annual phlocking when Jimmy comes to town. We rent a party bus - a kick-ass party bus - with a wet bar, bathroom, captain's chairs and tables, hostess and driver, and about 20 of my closest friends. We usually leave around 3:00 p.m. to make it to the party in the parking lot. Last time we did the trip was a couple of ye-ARRRs ago, and I thought it time to share a couple of photos from the Phlocking to the Jimmy Buffet Concert. Here is an interior shot of the bus.

We take 12 cases - yep, 144 Corona's and enough tequila to pickle the population of Juarez, Mexico. Tequila is also the main ingredient of Jimmy's Perfect Margaritas and our Jello-shots so it is definitely a versatile adult beverage. Not to mention that it is always 4:20 at a Buffett concert. Time stands still. This is a photo of Bradzilla, on the left, and my fat old-ass on the right. In the background is my professional partner in various crimes committed in the art department and Ace Macintosh Pilot - Meesch, Code Name: Desdemona.

We also take, in the undercarriage of the bus, a bbq grill, and coolers filled with raw mammal flesh for our cheesburger's in paradise. We pretty much go all out, including taking 300 pounds of sand to make ourselves a beach on the asphalt.

Here is a photo of the Lone Star ParrotHead Bus. See, we really get into it. I hope you can read the license plate!

Now the best thing about it is that the parking lot is FILLED, and I do mean FILLED, with little phlocks of Parrotheads, staking their claim to one particular harbor. And many of them are wimmen who have been drinking for hours with only a porta-potty for relief (of course they have to stand in line for 20 minutes to make room for more... unless there is a party bus in the area)!


I remember the first one, a cutie about 25-years-old, who boarded the bus as asked if she could use the bathroom. "Sure, but you have to show us your teats (@)(@) first, it's the price of admission." Aghast, she departed the bus, and proceeded to hop around for about five minutes of uncomfortable bladder control. She glanced at the 20-minute line at the porta-potties and returned to the bus. By this time all the guys were standing around up front - and she flashes us! Man, is this like N'awlins or what! And it wasn't even Mardi Gras! Needless to say, we quickly became a popular bus and I have never seen so many teats in my life. I encourage every red-blooded male Parrothead to adopt this kind gesture, after all, these wimmen probably already drank their party money so I was being benevolent.

Even Mrs. Bradzilla, left, and Mrs. Stomps With Foot join in the fun. Note that Mrs. Bradzilla has a margarita resting on the ground by her leg, while Mrs. SWF is caressing a Rolling Rock - an unauthorized drink - 'cuz we have these 144 bottles of Corona, tequila shots and margaritas that must be downed before we head to out seats.

The topic of today's missive was all brought on by El Capitan. He flung a grenade at me last week and made me think of the profundity of Jimmy's songs. I found the song that has the lyrics I was looking for when El Capitan threw me the hand grenade last week. I turned it up and just listened to it a couple of times. Seems this is the right time of year to reflect, especially on this theme. If you have this tune, find it and turn it up. It will put you in one of those moods – you know, those moods?

Jimmy Buffett

I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year.
All of the faces and all of the places,
wonderin' where they all disappeared.

I didn't ponder the question too long;
I was hungry and went out for a bite.
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum,
and we wound up drinkin' all night.

It's those changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same.
With all of our running and all of our cunning,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.

Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I've been.
Visions of good times that brought
so much pleasure, makes me want to go back again.

If it suddenly ended tomorrow,
I could somehow adjust to the fall.
Good times and riches and son of a bitches,
I've seen more than I can recall.

These changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same.
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.

I think about Paris when I'm high on red wine;
I wish I could jump on a plane.
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean.
God, I wish I was sailin' again.

Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder,
So I can't look back for too long.
There's just too much to see, waiting in front of me,
and I know that I just can't go wrong with these.

With these changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same.
With all of my running and my of our cunning,
If we weren't all crazy we just would go insane.

Jimmy changes the lyrics around some, especially when he is playing live, but the feeling remains; as does the mood.

I am anxiously awaiting the next Phlocking of the Faithful.